On the 8th, Erin and I celebrated our 5th anniversary. We’re staying in a fancy hotel in Seattle, and it’s been a good relaxing time to get away. The hotel was actually so fancy that we had to eat at MacDonald’s for our anniversary dinner. I know you’re all thinking that I’m a cheap tightwad, but let me assure you that I let Erin supersize her meal.
One of the goals Erin had for our trip was to see someone famous. Well, today while we were at P.F. Chang’s for lunch, my wife’s keen eye spotted Lord Saruman from across the dining room. At first, I was skeptical, particularly because he wasn’t wearing a robe. But after a quick IMDB search, we realized that the actor Christopher Lee portrayed Lord Saruman (a fictional character) in Lord of the Rings (a fictional movie). We are 98.6% sure that Mr. Lee was eating Chinese/American food in the same room as us today. Coincidentally, our waiter looked just like Andy Serkis.
I just found a letter from a few years back that I wrote to Capital One. Back when I was in college, they kept sending me notices of pre-approval for a credit card. However, when I tried to accept the pre-approval, they denied me. Here was my retort, dated April 6, 2000.
Dear Ms. Kauffman:
I recently received a denial of request for credit privileges from Capital One. Please note the reference number: **********202. The primary reason for your decision was stated as follows:
YOU WERE NOT THE PERSON SOLICITED
The person solicited (and who was pre-approved for credit) was one Nate Sees. I assumed this was meant for me: Nathan Sees. Nate is the name I am referred to by my friends and family; a nickname, if you will. On the application that I sent in, there was a word of instruction that gave orders to correct any wrong information with regards to my name and address. This I did to the best of my ability. I circled “Nate” and wrote “Nathan” on the application because that is the name printed on my driver’s license. I am curious as to why I (Nathan) was not considered the same person as Nate. If you believe there is someone other than myself named Nate Sees who lives at the same address as me and also shares my driver’s license and social security numbers, then I suppose you have proper grounds to deny me (Nathan) credit. However, if I may attempt to persuade you differently, let it be known that there is no Nate Sees, other than myself, who resides at 982 E. Quincy, let alone in the great state of California, as far as I know. If you still disagree, I would challenge you to search for him and let me know when you find him because I have been receiving his mail, phone calls, and e-mails for the past 21 years.
I do not mean to sound facetious or rude, but this is the second time I have been denied credit by your company for the exact same reason. If I have not persuaded you that I am Nate Sees (the person you pre-approved for credit,) then I will ask you to please stop sending pre-approved credit notices to Nate Sees, because apparently he does not live here.
With utter sincerity,
Nathan “Nate” Sees
Now that i look back on it, I think I was lying about the utterness of my sincerity. Please forgive me, Ms. Kauffman.
Well, one week into my initial test, none of the search engines have indexed my secret word. Maybe I need to be more patient. But if my patience is in fact sufficient, I would venture to say that the first two test pages I built are unsatisfactory to Google, Yahoo, and MSN. So I added 2 more pages with some altered code. I’ll give it another week and see if the big 3 will be nicer to me. Speaking of being nice, maybe I was not being cordial enough to their spiders in my first post. Here’s another go:
I am proud to announce that my past grieving over the loss of my faithful 4Runner has come to an end (but I will never forget you, dear one!) A month ago, we purchased a new Scion XB. My wife fell in love with it right away, but I was reluctant to show any excitement initially. I knew it was a great carSUVwagonbox ride, but I wasn’t ready to be emotionally attached to another inanimate object quite yet.
I was impressed by the large list of standard options, the coolest being the iPod attachment which allows the stereo (and steering wheel) controls access to the playlists, etc. (As of yet, the iPhone is not supported). Also stock are 4-wheel disc brakes, a Camry engine, a buttload of airbags, and a surprising amount of interior space.
Although the XB continued to grow on me, it wasn’t till two weeks ago that I received the confirmation I needed to call the car my own. I have two friends from Hume who are, in fact, the earth’s official decision makers of what is cool and what isn’t (and I need to check with them to see if “cool” is still a cool word to use). Anyways, when Karley and Eric came down to see us, they seemed to be more excited to see our new car than our house. When I showed them the Scion, they used words like “sick” and “pimpin”, which I don’t know the definitions of, but the tone of their voices made it appear that my new mode of transportation was cool! Who knew?
My apologies to those of you who only check this site for the latest gossip on your favorite superhero. But, in an effort to further conceal my secret identity, here is some stuff that should reinforce my civilian-like career as a nerd.
I’m testing to see if the major search engines (Google, Yahoo, and MSN) will recognize and index different types of HTML markup. I’m am entering the realm of what other nerds call Search Engine Optimization (SEO).
So far, no search engines (that I’m aware of) recognize any text or content inside flash movies. Therefore, if I create a super-fancy, all-flash website, it won’t be ranked on the major search engines as high as an HTML site with the same content. Fortunately, Geoff Stearns’ SWFObject offers a great resolution to this issue, but there are still some things I would like to find out with respect to the different indexing algorithms used by the search engines at hand.
So, without further adieu, I would like to invite the spiders from Google, Yahoo, and MSN to get on your marks…get set…go!
Many of you know that I have recently moved from Hume Lake and taken a new job. What some of you may not know is that my “real” new job is top secret. As a token of gratitude to the millions of loyal fans who check this site daily, I will share this classified information, but you must promise to keep it on the down-low. (Well, you can tell other people ONLY if they promise not to tell anyone else.)
The truth of the matter is that a privately-funded organization has hired me as a superhero. In order to conceal my secret identity when I am in the public eye, I have to wear glasses as well as wear my underwear under my pants. I have also had to behave in a less-than macho way…pretending to not know how anything about cars, using a luffa in the shower, and not going to the gym. As you might guess, it has been a big adjustment for me. But, I understand the importance of anonymity in this line of work.
In order to save the lives of those who are dying to know what my supername and superpowers are, I can unfortunately only give you a few hints:
Although very super, the word “super” is not in my supername.
I work alone. (The Sidekick’s Union has been on strike since I’ve been on the job.)
I’m a human, raised by humans.
If you haven’t guessed it, just pay close attention to the evening news.
I hope this news will help each one of you rest in peace tonight.
I am sorry we had to part ways. You were always good to me and my family. Remember, friends are friends forever if the Lord’s the lord of them…too bad cars can’t go to heaven. Be kind to your new owner.